I've been a mom for twenty-six years.
I was a single mom first at the age of twenty, intent to do everything backwards, it seems. I met my husband when my daughter was five, and became a married mom, and a step-mom to a second delightful girl, two years younger to the day than my daughter. They were fast buddies, and eventually, when my husband adopted my daughter, truly became the sisters they were from the moment they first met.
My husband and I each had a child from prior relationships, so when I turned thirty we got to work *practicing* with every arrogant assumption that we would be fruitful together. Two years passed without a pregnancy, we'd moved and I became a stay-at-home mom for the first time, and I got a puppy. A furry little replacement baby until the Universe decided it was time for the human variety.
It would take six years, during which I was diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis, suffered one loss, two surgeries, a multitude of disappointments, was one ovary down, and on my way to a likely hysterectomy if I didn't find an alternative to the conventional INfertility path. The path that focused on IMpossible, and UNlikely, and ADVANCED age, and FAILURE. The path that, the temperature charting and obsessing of which, caused untold stress, weight-gain and wrinkles. I hate wrinkles, dammit! And it contributed to adrenal fatigue and chronic acidosis, and babies won't grow in an acidic environment.
And so, I sought another path. A path of healing, a path of spirituality, a path of empowering myself to follow my instincts and use my intuition to take control of my wellness and my FERTILITY; a path that would lead the little spirit I wasn't ready for before, to finally come to be my amazing, bright, imaginative now ten-year-old son. I've come to understand that the Universe had known better. There had been so much more I needed to know before I was ready to mother my son. He was born when our daughters were sixteen and fourteen, and everything I thought I knew about being their mom/step-mom, I had to relearn when it came to my son.
Because of the lifestyle changes I'd made to successfully achieve and maintain a full-term pregnancy, I listened to my instincts and refused Hepatitis B vaccination in the hospital. I thank God every day that I did. I knew my baby, and I recognized the difference when after his two-month vaccine protocol, he had an episode of tremor and stopped napping. For the moment, the fog of having two teenagers and a newborn had caused me to doubt those whispers; to question, or not question enough. Then after his four-month vaccine protocol, he had two more episodes of tremor, he'd had two ear infections before the age of six months (I removed dairy from our diets, and he's never had another one since), and still wasn't doing any more than cat-napping. I'd never filled the prescriptions for antibiotics the doctors had given me for the ear infections. I never went to his six-month appointment. And I never went back to the pediatrician I loved, that had seen both of our daughters through their growing up years, but whose practice had a hard and fast policy that they only saw patients that were fully immunized. The same well-meaning doctors that had given me such a hard time about refusing the Hep B vaccination when my son was born, and that might have successfully bullied and convinced me otherwise, had I been a first time mom and NOT "advanced age."
Just as it took a great deal of hard work to heal my infertility, it's taken a great deal of hard work to repair the vaccine damage my son suffered. We still have our struggles, but he truly is perfection. And over the course of the last year or so, I've come across people like Lissa, books like Mind Over Medicine, The Thinking Moms Revolution: Autism Beyond the Spectrum: Inspiring..., and those two topics have come together to compel me to share my story by facilitating and empowering others to RECLAIM their Fertility, and improve their chance to produce a whole, healthy child, like I did.
I welcome discussion with doctors that treat patients struggling with fertility issues. Precisely because of what Kris Carr wrote in the introduction to Mind Over Medicine, about DNA being a malleable thing, I have designed my 9-week intensive online program for couples to work in a holistic way, together. I give my couples exercises and specific TOOLS to actively participate, engage in and support the process to heal and improve their chance to achieve fertility. I believe that's the difference my program has to offer. So if you love a couple that wants desperately to have a family, perhaps I can provide them an alternative to the heartbreak of failure after failure. Perhaps I can offer them HOPE.
--Kim Jorgensen Gane