hello everyone. this is the first place that I'm am "outing" my depression. part of me says, don't do that, don't let this go out on the internet...what if someone does a search and finds this? But i'm going to ignore my fears and reach out.

i have had experiences of low-level depression and anxiety in my life, but the past month has been an entirely new level. I had some health problems, including several bouts with painful kidney stones, and also a diagnosis of vestibular neuritis or "positional vertigo" which has caused me to feel dizzy and exhausted for the past 2 months. These health issues arose after two years of extraordinary stress: a job where i was miserable (no longer there), financial problems (my husband was out of work, but thankfully is now employed), and taking care of my ill child. After two years of this, i left my job, and just when i thought i'd feel relieved i crashed.

i have not felt this kind of depression since my mother died 27 years ago, and then at least i had a "reason." I am trying not to blame myself for the way i feel, but i struggle with not being the strong mommy and wife, and instead waking up shaking and crying every day.

I am seeing an NPP this week who practices both traditional meds and holistic, and hopefully she will be as good as she sounds on her website.

in the meantime, a friend recommended dr. rankin's book, which i will pick up immediately. i know that the stress i've been feeling, in addition to years of unexpressed grief over the loss of my parents at a young age, are now coming out and refusing to be silenced or suppressed. I pray that this is the beginning of healing for me, but i do get overwhelmed with fear that this is my permanent way of being.

i appreciate any advice or support, especially from those of you who have struggled and overcome depression and anxiety. thank you for listening and i wish you all happiness and peace.

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Hello Jenna,

I was cleaning out my emails and happened to click on your post.  I am one of the 12 visionary physicians selected by Lissa Rankin to participate in her Whole Health Medicine Institute mentoring program this year.  I am a family physician and I see patients just like you every day.  When I read your post, I felt like I wanted to just reach out, give you a hug,  and offer some support.  Please know that:

1.  You are not alone.  Many people go through feelings like this and there is nothing wrong with you.  Know that you are perfect and holy.  And we are all connected.

2.  You are crashing because you have been under extreme stress for the last 2 years if not longer.  Please listen to your body wisdom.  It is telling you that you need rest and recovery.  A lot of patients, especially women, struggle with martyring themselves in order to care for other people.  Right now you need self care.  I know we all think we are Wonder Woman but really we are human.  Take care of yourself like you would take care of your own child.

3.  I recommend Dr. Rankin's book.  Going through the steps to heal yourself will help you figure out what areas in your life are out of balance.  You already know what you need to heal.  You just have to trust yourself to figure it out.  After that, you need to have the courage and faith to manifest these changes on the physical plane.

Good luck with your appointment with the NPP this week. 

Love,

Celedonia Yue, M.D.

i cannot thank you enough for your loving, caring comments. i so need to hear this now. i am so grateful to you. i do have to remind myself that this isn't my fault or a weakness. old tapes keep playing in my head blaming myself for this. your words means so much to me.

love,

jenna

Celedonia X. Yue, M.D. said:

Hello Jenna,

I was cleaning out my emails and happened to click on your post.  I am one of the 12 visionary physicians selected by Lissa Rankin to participate in her Whole Health Medicine Institute mentoring program this year.  I am a family physician and I see patients just like you every day.  When I read your post, I felt like I wanted to just reach out, give you a hug,  and offer some support.  Please know that:

1.  You are not alone.  Many people go through feelings like this and there is nothing wrong with you.  Know that you are perfect and holy.  And we are all connected.

2.  You are crashing because you have been under extreme stress for the last 2 years if not longer.  Please listen to your body wisdom.  It is telling you that you need rest and recovery.  A lot of patients, especially women, struggle with martyring themselves in order to care for other people.  Right now you need self care.  I know we all think we are Wonder Woman but really we are human.  Take care of yourself like you would take care of your own child.

3.  I recommend Dr. Rankin's book.  Going through the steps to heal yourself will help you figure out what areas in your life are out of balance.  You already know what you need to heal.  You just have to trust yourself to figure it out.  After that, you need to have the courage and faith to manifest these changes on the physical plane.

Good luck with your appointment with the NPP this week. 

Love,

Celedonia Yue, M.D.

Hi Jenna, I've struggled with anxiety the past few years; I was diagnosed (by a fabulous doctor!) with vestibular neuritis, but she told me my case would get SO much better, once my anxiety was under control.  Until this time, I had no idea I had an anxiety issue :-)   Once I got it under control, with a low dose of meds and a short time in talk therapy, all my symptoms of the vestibular issue were resolved.  What a relief. I wanted to suggest to you to check out the Health Journeys website (Belle Ruth Naparstek) - have you heard of her?  She is wonderful. My reiki practitioner recommended and used her CDs.  They are narrated meditation/visual imagery CDs and have helped me significantly.  I wish you all the best, and applaud you for the proactive approach you're taking.  My issues (family betrayal) brought me back to Spirit, which has continued to be an exciting spiritual journey for me.  All the best to you.

thank you so much andie. i went to the website. which of her CDs did you find the most helpful? I have to get an MRI this week to rule out anythign serious causing my dizziness, and i'm absolutely terrified that i'm going to get bad news. thank you for your loving comments

Oh, Jenna -  I know it's difficult - but please try not to worry.  I had to have an MRI, too, and I was very frightened.  My doc came back with an 'all clear' and we rejoiced together.  Before this, I had NO idea anxiety could cause dizziness;  I was even walking a bit unsteady -- nobody else could tell, but I could.  I was so afraid.  But then I learned about anxiety and I think I had most of the symptoms :-)

Here's another site I found helpful:  anxietycentre.com, then click on the "anxiety symptoms' - about the 3rd point down on the left-hand list on the side of the page.  Hope it helps you.  I was amazed at what anxiety can do to you physically, it's incredible.  Guess it's true that our mind/body connection is strong!  Blessings to you; please let me know how you're doing.

Oh, almost forgot about the CDs.  The staff at Health Journeys is terrific and so helpful, so you might want to give them a call.  I listen to her "General Wellness" - beautiful imagery and such a soothing voice.  I also have 'Connecting with your Spiritual Guide" and love it.
 
Jenna said:

thank you so much andie. i went to the website. which of her CDs did you find the most helpful? I have to get an MRI this week to rule out anythign serious causing my dizziness, and i'm absolutely terrified that i'm going to get bad news. thank you for your loving comments

i will order the CDs, thank you so much. i don't think the medication i'm on is working for my depression. it's been almost a month and i haven't felt better. i am thinking about trying something called mindfulness-based stress reduction. there's a center not too far from my area. i am willing to try anything at this point. i'm praying this is the start of a more wholehearted life for me, getting out of my fear-based way of living. but right now, it's just so overwhelming to feel sad, anxious and exhausted all the time.

What does your doc think about switching meds?  Since anxiety and depression are physical, as well as emotional, meds can really be helpful.  The mindfulness idea is great, in my opinion.  Isn't it ironic - that just when you need help the most, your anxiety and depression can overwhelm your clear thinking.  Sounds as if you are being very proactive about trying different approaches.  I can assure you, that once you do find the right meds, and have an open dialog with a good doc, you can feel SO much better, and get back to living the life you deserve.  I was so anxious, that I was afraid to take the anxiety meds :-)   But once I did, I am now like 'my old self' - without the fear and anxious thoughts.  I send you prayers and healing energy.  You deserve a happy life - I was able to get mine back, with a great medical/psychological team.  Blessings.
 
Jenna said:

i will order the CDs, thank you so much. i don't think the medication i'm on is working for my depression. it's been almost a month and i haven't felt better. i am thinking about trying something called mindfulness-based stress reduction. there's a center not too far from my area. i am willing to try anything at this point. i'm praying this is the start of a more wholehearted life for me, getting out of my fear-based way of living. but right now, it's just so overwhelming to feel sad, anxious and exhausted all the time.

Hi Jenna,

I forgot to tell you about another good resource for you; have you heard of Dr. Christiane Northrup?  she has a website at drnorthrup.com and today's 'daily inspiration' is a good one for those of us with mind/body issues :-)  You can find the daily inspiration at the top right of her page.  Hope this helps.

 

Andie

hi andie, would you mind telling me what meds helped you? im on prozac and take xanax at night to sleep. the prozac doesn't seem to be working with the depression. i love Dr Northrup.

Hi Jenna -- I know people who have tried a few different meds for anxiety, depression, etc.  I don't know about depression, but for anxiety, there is Zoloft, Prozac, Lexapro, etc.  I am on a low dose of Lexapro.  I'm wondering, if your meds aren't working for you - do you think you might want to find a new doc?  If you have a teaching hospital near you - they're a good resource.  Or you can call your local hospital and tell them what kind of doc you are looking for; most have a referral service.  In this day and age, seems there really is no reason to keep on feeling bad.  All the best!
 
Jenna said:

hi andie, would you mind telling me what meds helped you? im on prozac and take xanax at night to sleep. the prozac doesn't seem to be working with the depression. i love Dr Northrup.

Hi Jenna,

You need to find a good doctor that also uses a mind-body-spirit approach to your condition.  Prozac is a SSRI, and it helps increase your serotonin level.  Generally if I am treating a patient with depression who also has a high degree of anxiety, I will use an SSRI because these work well in conditions where anxiety is a prominent feature.  If it is not working, then the doctor should consider if the dosage is right or if you should try switching to another med.  The Zoloft and Lexapro mentioned above are also SSRI antidepressants, but each of these will have a slightly different side effect profile so I base the choice on what seems most compatible for that patient, depending on a lot of individual factors.  If the class of SSRI's fails then there are meds that work on dual transmitters such as Effexor, Pristiq, Cymbalta.  The one I select is dependent on the patient's individual symptoms and other medical conditions. 

The choice of medication is important but the use of mind-body-spirit principles is, in my opinion, just as important.  Consider each of the stones in Dr. Rankin's Whole Health Cairn - are you following your inner pilot life?  Do you have a life purpose in your work?  Do you have rich and abundant relationships?   Do you have a creative outlet?  Are you spiritual?  Do you have a healthy sex life?  Do you live in a healthy environment?  Are you financially stable?  And how do all these factors influence your mental and physical health?  Finding someone who can guide you through this process is very helpful.

I think mindfulness training would be very beneficial to you in dealing with your anxiety and depression.  I often recommend to my patients that they learn to train their minds to settle down the monkey mind that creates havoc.  Your willingness to try this tells me that you have the self-initiative to do anything you can to get better!  I encourage you to explore mindfulness training.  At first it will seem difficult but you will get better with practice and it will accelerate your healing. 

Lastly, know that everything happens for a reason.  I view the life events that we each go through as a learning experience.  Often I work with patients who feel like there is no way out of a big rut they are in and that is when I ask them "If you were God and you gave yourself this life circumstance, what do you think the lesson is that you are supposed to learn'?"  Look for the soul lessons that your experience is trying to teach you. 

Love,

Celedonia Yue, M.D.



Celedonia X. Yue, M.D. said:

Hi Jenna,

You need to find a good doctor that also uses a mind-body-spirit approach to your condition.  Prozac is a SSRI, and it helps increase your serotonin level.  Generally if I am treating a patient with depression who also has a high degree of anxiety, I will use an SSRI because these work well in conditions where anxiety is a prominent feature.  If it is not working, then the doctor should consider if the dosage is right or if you should try switching to another med.  The Zoloft and Lexapro mentioned above are also SSRI antidepressants, but each of these will have a slightly different side effect profile so I base the choice on what seems most compatible for that patient, depending on a lot of individual factors.  If the class of SSRI's fails then there are meds that work on dual transmitters such as Effexor, Pristiq, Cymbalta.  The one I select is dependent on the patient's individual symptoms and other medical conditions. 

The choice of medication is important but the use of mind-body-spirit principles is, in my opinion, just as important.  Consider each of the stones in Dr. Rankin's Whole Health Cairn - are you following your inner pilot life?  Do you have a life purpose in your work?  Do you have rich and abundant relationships?   Do you have a creative outlet?  Are you spiritual?  Do you have a healthy sex life?  Do you live in a healthy environment?  Are you financially stable?  And how do all these factors influence your mental and physical health?  Finding someone who can guide you through this process is very helpful.

I think mindfulness training would be very beneficial to you in dealing with your anxiety and depression.  I often recommend to my patients that they learn to train their minds to settle down the monkey mind that creates havoc.  Your willingness to try this tells me that you have the self-initiative to do anything you can to get better!  I encourage you to explore mindfulness training.  At first it will seem difficult but you will get better with practice and it will accelerate your healing. 

Lastly, know that everything happens for a reason.  I view the life events that we each go through as a learning experience.  Often I work with patients who feel like there is no way out of a big rut they are in and that is when I ask them "If you were God and you gave yourself this life circumstance, what do you think the lesson is that you are supposed to learn'?"  Look for the soul lessons that your experience is trying to teach you. 

Love,

Celedonia Yue, M.D.

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